Seducing Remus?
by Sylvia Sylverton
Summary: Everyone knew that Sirius was crazy about Remus everyone that is except for Remus. Featuring clueless!Remus, lovesick!Sirius, and Matchmaker!James. The prequel to Daydream?


**Disclaimer:** Let's just say I don't own the _Harry Potter_ books and the likelihood of me owning it sometime in the near future is slim if next to none. Besides if I did own it book five would have never happened and Sirius/Remus along with Draco/Harry relationships would be canon.

**Summary: **Everyone knew that Sirius was crazy about Remus everyone that is except for Remus. Featuring clueless!Remus, lovesick!Sirius, and Matchmaker!James. The prequel to Daydream?

**Warning:** This fic is **SLASH**, get that there is boy- boy love, but I think that's silly to warn you about obviously you should know it's slash if you're in the romance section of Remus and Sirius fics and besides I think it's hypocritical to warn people about slash. I mean what's the big deal love is love it's not like you have to warn people when the fic is het ooh people of the opposite or same sex are kissing big deal what you do in your own free time is your own business. But whatever I don't make the rules I just follow them. Flame me if you wish but if you dare flame me about this fic being slash I will do the following scream in frustration, curse you and your family, and feed the flame to an incredibly intimidating French poodle named Fifi.

**A.N.: **About a year and a half ago I was on vacation in Los Angeles with my friends and family when the image of Sirius licking Remus struck me while I slept. It wasn't until a few months later that I got motivated to write my story Daydream?. At the end of Daydream? I posed the question to the readers did they want me to continue it? In all honesty I had never intended to continue it. Because what would I write about. But after many positive reviews and requests for a little sequel, inspiration struck me. How did Sirius come to start licking Remus? What would make him so desperate that he would resort to licking to get someone to notice him? Then a line from Daydream? caught my interest "Everybody knows I'm crazy about you." So here it is almost a year after the original, the prequel to Daydream? I hope you enjoy it. Oh yea one last thought I promise I looked over the grammar and punctuation for Daydream? and tried to correct it so it should be easier to read now.

Thoughts are in italics

"Seducing Remus?"

By Sylvia Sylverton

Everybody knew that Sirius was crazy about Remus, everybody that is except for Remus Jay Lupin himself. For the last four years bets had been flying about when the two would finally get together. From California to Japan everybody wanted a piece of the action. It wasn't that Remus was stupid; in fact the tawny haired werewolf was quite smart. He was just denser then the entire Amazon. Yes my dear friends, Sirius was in love with the densest man alive.

Over the course of his school years he had tried many plans to get his friend to notice him. But nothing ever worked. He gave him black roses only to discover that Remus was deathly allergic, and better yet that they symbolized death. He got a collar-shaped tattoo on his collarbone that read Remus' Bitch only to receive a blank stare, a bunch of chuckles, and a rash the size of Milwaukee. That one still hurt by the way. Hell, he had even drawn the man a diagram of everything he would like to do to him. But all he got was a piece of paper with corrections written in red ink. Apparently he didn't draw the liver in the right place.

It was almost enough to make a guy want to throw in the towel. But Sirius refused to give up that easily not after everything he had been through. Which was almost totally out of character for him because usually puppies hoping to be fed had more patience then him. But Sirius saw all of those happy couples and dreamed of a time and a place where he and Remus could walk together in the sand. He knew that if only he could get Remus to notice him then it would help alleviate if not cure all of the past wounds he had suffered from his family's abuse.

Perhaps that was why he had finally sought the help of his best friend James Potter. No one knew James' exact motives perhaps he chose to help because he hated to see his friend hurt, or perhaps it might have been because he secretly enjoyed seeing his friend fall flat on his face. But most likely it was because he hoped to gain a large amount of money in the betting pools. But whatever his motives Sirius sure was glad for the help. Because honestly he could use all of the help he could get. And that was why he was now spending his Saturday afternoon in his room, with James and a giant white board. On the white board read the words how to get Remus and there were a ton of plans all crossed out.

"How about this plan 347 involving bananas, pizza sauce, and handcuffs." Said James.

"No that's too messy. What else do we have?" Replied Sirius

"This might work plan 963 involving a rubber ducky, a dozen donuts, and a giant panda!" exclaimed James excitedly. While he was saying this his girlfriend the fiery haired nymph of a woman Lily came into the room.

"Don't tell me you two are up to this nonsense again. Did you ever think of maybe telling the poor guy?" she muttered sounding incredibly frustrated.

_Why did women always think that they knew everything especially when it came to love? _He wondered to himself._ If telling him had worked they'd be half way to Tahiti by now. But perhaps he should humor the poor girl. He rather did like this woman child especially when she was pissed off at James. _Aloud he said, "Lily that's a great idea you have there." "Oh Remus can you come in here for a second?" he called into the other room.

In entered Remus with a black leash and a bejeweled collar. "Hey Paddy, do you like this new collar I bought for you? It should cover that rather unseemly rash of yours. Do you …" Sirius interrupted him

"Before you say anything more, Remus I love you."

Without even a blink of an eye Remus replied nonchalantly in the type of voice where you would ask someone what time it is or make a remark about the weather, "I love you too, buddy. So do you want to go for a walk?"

"Don't you get it Remus?!? You love him and he loves you so get on with the snogging already before I die from frustration."

"Oh I get what's going on here. Is 'Aunt Flo' paying another one of her monthly visits?"

_Oh he is definitely going to be sorry that he said that. _Thought Sirius. Right as he was thinking that Lily began to beat Remus upside the head with the gold purse that she just happened to be conveniently holding. Isn't it funny how those things work? After she was satisfied with the large cartoon shaped bump that she had left on the poor fellows head she left the room without a word, stomping her feet as she left, and slammed the door. After she left, the room was filled with complete silence and Remus had a look on his face that clearly said, "What the hell was that all about?"

"You know I should probably go check to see if she is okay, I'll see you later Remus." And he left the room a decision he would soon come to regret. Because for you see there are three basic types of Lily. There is the Lovey Dovey Lily you're the light of my life. There is the tranquil Lily just go with the flow. But then there is the Ranting Lily you'll be sorry you were ever born. When he entered the room he discovered a Ranting Lily with a twist of anger and hatred thrown in.

"I can't believe it! I just can't believe it! That, that thing actually had the nerve! I just can't believe it. You know what I feel sorry for you! That man is there is so dense and in denial that he's halfway to Narnia. Why short of licking him I don't see how you're ever going to get him to notice you." Ranted Lily

After she was done with her very long and excruciatingly painful speech an inspired Sirius ran up to her, hugged her, gave her a pat on her head, and a kiss on her cheek.

Sirius now knew now what he was going to do. Tomorrow Sirius was going to lick Remus and Remus was going to like it.

"Yea hello is this the siriuslovesremus betting pool hotline? Yea I'd like 1,000 galleons for the 28th of December."

**A.N.:** Love it, hate it? Please let me know in a review. But constructive criticism only please. I hope you had as much fun reading it as I did writing it. For all you new readers go and read "Daydream?" next please and let me know what you think of that. Thank you. **Sylvia Sylverton**


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